Why’s of a Relationship (not your How, But your Y)


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In a relationship, it doesn’t matter what your profession is, what your job is, what your status is or what is your current face looks, what only matter is how you handle your relationship especially if you are already committed to someone (i.e. married, in a relationship with the opposite sex, or in relationship with the same sex). I’ve seen couples who are living together for several years and decided to get married and after like seven (7) months after they got married, separated. I’ve heard someone who is well-off, marry the girl of his dreams, he built a house for her, even cost his work, but didn’t go well, annulled and broken and at the same time jobless.

There are also couples which are living harmoniously  or as we can see it but will only shocked you because the husband leave home and stay with the other wife (mistress) or the wife leave home and go to someone she barely know because she thinks she’s in love with other husband (what should we call them ? 😊). What is the common on all of this? Why this happened in relationships? Or is this only happening only to few?

So why all these things happen?

These happens maybe because of the social media, influence of alcohol, or maybe because the husband thinks it’s normal for a guy to have more than one wife or fling or an acquaintance. It also happens to the wife, she thinks that the man she’s been seeing is better than her husband, her boyfriend, because the man can provide her material things, and can give her freedom, without realizing that the cost of what she’s doing is expensive. It will cost her, her family. The married ones have greater impact on this because they already formed a small community – a family, where the children are largely affected (in the case if the children are small as always).

Almost all couples tend to experience such situation because some of them mistakenly treat a sweet gesture into something romantic. Here is some list I have gathered, why a relationship is formed between the same and the opposite sex regardless if they are married, committed or not;

  1. A caring and thoughtful personality – there are some humans who are too caring and thoughtful that sometimes it is misunderstood. Our human brain labeled such gesture as if the person has a feeling for you that we tend to forget he/she is just like that that it’s his/her personality.
  2.  Special treatment – these are sometimes common for all couples who are on a dating stage, they think that when someone treats her special, he is into her. We have labeled each and acts special that we jump into conclusions that our brain is so busy making a mental movie with that someone inside our head.
  3. Touch – don’t forget that as human we love to touch (not the kind of touch you have in mind 😊) and be touched. A simple tap on the shoulder would bring a meaning especially if that someone turns out to be your crush (feeling like there are so many butterflies in the stomach 😊). It also can cause annoyance that some can feel disgusted when touched.
  4. Phone Call – sometimes a label is made when someone called saying” you look dashing today, or you look exceptionally beautiful today or whatever. Believe it or not, one simple phone call can make or break your day. And whatever your situation is, when some called you from the opposite sex, and contain praises about you, your personality, your work, how you look, could mean something intimate, something personal inside.
  5. Messages – message is just a message until the receiver make an interpretation out of it. A simple chat message of “how are you” can lead to a more personal relationship towards the same or the opposite sex regardless if that receiver has something to rant about, to talk about, to burst about. The sender might not know what happens to you or how you feel now until the receiver freely talks about it to the sender. This simple messaging can cost your family if the receiver tends to become emotional that every word sent, he/she interprets with meaning.

These factors are affecting relationship widely that even young ones today, seem to be more of a feeling than becoming being real. One of these factors is enough to break a relationship or bring the relationship to a more meaningful one. Although the list above might not complete of why some relationships fall, or torn apart, but generally, one of these might be the real culprit why. One might say, she was attracted to that man because he is sweet can be a good partner in life, that she forgot that maybe he was just born and raise in a soft -spoken and loving family that it goes naturally with what he’s doing.

Man and woman tend to put label on things as they see

They tend to think that it is true, that the meaning they have in their minds is real, without thinking that something is not true and real. Human brain can make things appear real in our own perspective, that’s why many relationships fall because they fail to recognize the true meaning behind every gesture one makes. Have you ever heard the statement” In love with the thought of being in love”, have you thought what does it mean to you?

People often make decision to be in the relationship because they treat the feeling of being in love to be in love with someone. Is this confusing? Maybe yes and maybe no. It is difficult to detect and very much difficult to explain. Lets take an example, your thought of being in love brings you butterflies in the stomach with no one specific in mind, just the thought that being in love is so good, brings you moments within you and then, here comes a man, show you the signs you have imagined, gestures that can easily touch a woman’s heart and since you have the feeling inside you already, you label the gesture as one of those and conclude he’s in love with you, so a bond formed and the relationship exist. After sometime, you find that something about him is different, different from the feeling that you have inside before he came, and so you decided to end the relationship because you are no longer happy about it, you are not in love, you are in love with the thought of being in love.


This is also one of reason why there are more relationship breaks than being mend. It is because when one enters in a relationship, he/she is not very sure of what he wants in that relationship. If it is for the lifetime or just to put up the pressure he’s given by peers and family or just for a show to cover something. This might sound OA however; this might be true. If only you are being true to yourself before coming into the relationship, maybe you can be spared from the misery you created for yourself.

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